All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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