i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
