"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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