Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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