the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
