All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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