also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I don't think brook has ever known best
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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