My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
