she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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