Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize