too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
