it hurts more in the daytime
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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