Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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