I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
