He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
