Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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