I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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