Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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