the condom got lost in my hair
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
