I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
