I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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