i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
