Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
