Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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