mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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