i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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