I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
they need to just BURY HIM!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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