I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
