It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize