I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
