Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
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