a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
