matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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