Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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