No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
