he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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