the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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