We named our party play list daddy issues
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize
