I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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