this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
