I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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