I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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