your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
it's like heaven, but drunker
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals