Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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