If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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