we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
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Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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