I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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