Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
