We need to rekindle our bromance
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
