How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
