Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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