You just made me feel so damn special
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
