So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
