I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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