i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
