ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Text me some of your sweat
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
